A Night Alone with Butters and Nelly
by phantomzombie
Summary: For Walter Bryan Cranston White. While their parents are at the theatre, Butters and Nelly are left alone that evening. What do they get up to?


**Stotch Residence- Night. Butters is watching TV.**

**Announcer: **And now we return to our Terrance and Phillip Special: The Fart Awakens.

**The TV shows Terrance and Phillip on the Millennium Falcon.**

**Terrance: **Say Phillip, did we fix the fuel compressor before takeoff?

**Phillip: **No, why?

**Terrance:** Because I smell gasses.

**Phillip: **You mean these gasses?

**Phillip jumps out of his chair and farts. Terrance and Phillip laugh.**

**Terrance: **No. More of these gasses.

**Terrance jumps up and farts in Phillip's face. They laugh again.**

**Phillip: **Well, you know what they say, budday: In space, no-one can hear you fart.

**Butters laughs. His parents come in, wearing formal attire.**

**Stephen: **Butters, we're going to see 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: The Musical' with Nelly's parents tonight, so Nelly will he here and you'll be alone together. But just remember, if there's any sexual activity between you two and Nelly ends up pregnant, you're grounded. Got it?

**Butters:** Yes, sir.

**The doorbell rings.**

**Linda: **I got it.

**She opens it.**

**Stephen: **Ah, hello Mr and Mrs Figg.

**Mrs. Figg: **Hi Linda, Stephen.

**Nelly: **Butters!

**Butters: **Hey babe!

**She flings herself into his arms, and they kiss. Linda and Mrs. Figg watch, their faces looking like they've seen a pair of baby animals play-fighting.**

**Mr. Figg: **Now Nelly, be good for us.

**Nelly: **Of course dad.

**Stephen: **We gotta go now. Bye kids!

**Butters: **Bye!  
**Nelly: **Bye!

**The parents exit through the door, and it closes behind them.**

**Mr. Figg (Outside): **Taxi!

**Butters:** So, Nelly. What do you want to do?

**Nelly: **I want to show you something first, before we get dinner.

**Butters: **Oh, okay.

**Nelly gets off the couch, stands in front of Butters, and takes her pants down. Butters looks down.**

**Butters: **Whoa!

**Nelly: **What do you think?

**Butters: **It looks so beautiful, Nelly. **(A squirting sound is heard) **I think some of my creamy white goo came out.

**Nelly (Pulling her pants back up)**: Save it for later. I want to taste it.

**Butters takes his briefs off, leaves his pants off, and goes upstairs to change underwear. Nelly follows him.**

**Butters: **This is a bit embarrassing Nelly.

**Nelly:** Oh, okay. I'll wait here

**Butters leaves. He returns with a new pair of pants.**

**Nelly: **Now, what shall we order?

**Butters: **I'm ordering from 'Burger King'.

**He gets his phone and rings up the joint.**

**A Few Minutes Later...**

**Butters and Nelly are seen, sitting on the couch eating double cheeseburgers with everything, fries and cokes. And watching 'Bojack Horseman' on Comedy Central. Butters turns off the TV once they've eaten.**

**Nelly: **Can you play piano Butters?

**Butters: **Can I? Of course. Why?

**Nelly:** Well, I want you to serenade me with it.

**Butters wipes his face with a napkin, and walks over to the piano. He sits in front of it.**

**Butters: **Okay, which song do you want me to play?

**Nelly: **Do Bohemian Rhapsody, the middle part.

**Butters: **Of course, babe. Anything for you.

**Butters places some sheet music on the piano stand in front of him. He plays the first few notes like Freddie Mercury. Nelly sits on the couch and watches.**

**Butters (Singing while playing):  
**_Mama, just killed a man_

_Put a gun against his head_  
_Pulled my trigger, now he's dead_  
_Mama, life had just begun_  
_But now I've gone and thrown it all away_

_Mama, ooh_  
_Didn't mean to make you cry_  
_If I'm not back again this time tomorrow_  
_Carry on, carry on_  
_As if nothing really matters_

_Too late, my time has come_  
_Sends shivers down my spine_  
_Body's aching all the time_  
_Goodbye everybody, I've got to go_  
_Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth_

_Mama, ooh_  
_I don't want to die_  
_I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all_

**He finishes the song. Nelly applauds.**

**Nelly: **You've definitely rocked my world.

**Nelly kisses him.**

**Butters: **Wanna play 'Minecraft'?

**Nelly:** Yeah.

**Butters and Nelly are shown playing 'Minecraft'; they're currently fighting a hoard of zombies.**

**Butters: **Hit 'em Nelly!

**Nelly:** Oh dammit, I'm dead!

**Nelly's side of the screen reads Game Over: You Are Dead.**

**Butters: **Don't worry babe. I'll avenge you!

**Nelly:** Oh, my sweet, strong boyfriend is here to avenge me! How noble!

**The front door is heard being opened downstairs.**

**Stephen: **Butters! Nelly! We're home!

**Mr. Figg: **Were you good?

**Butters: **Yes Dad!  
**Nelly: **Yes Dad!

**Butters turns off the TV and he and Nelly go downstairs, and see their parents.**

**Mrs. Figg: (To Linda) **This was such a nice outing Linda. **(To Nelly) **C'mon Nelly. We're going.

**Nelly: **See you soon Butters.

**Butters: **See ya Nelly.

**They kiss each other for the last time that evening. The Figgs leave.**

**Linda: **I'm just going to check the laundry.

**Butters gulps nervously.**

**Linda (From the laundry): **Butters, is there sperm in your underwear?! Butters?

**Butters is outside, running up the street to Nelly's. Linda opens the window.**

**Linda: **NOT HAPPY BUTTERS!

**Butters is long gone.**

**The End**


End file.
